Old Peeps

Today I hung out with Matthew and Andrea. They were friends from before I became ill, co-workers from Barnes and Noble. We talked. They are married now. Talked about people from work, and a little about life, movies, cell phones, books. We did not talk about Church or God which is what I am always thinking about these days. I showed them my two rooms with holy cards and books, but we did not talk about them. I talked about The Silmarillion and The Lord of the Rings. We talked for a while. I could see us being friends again. They are people. Neither are practicing Catholics. I pretty much only have Church friends. We talked a little about Danica in Los Angeles. Stephanie was mentioned. People from my past. So long ago, but we still could talk. We remember enough.

I don't think Mellonie wants to talk to me anymore. She cut me off from her instagram and did not send me a birthday greeting this year which was our ritual. For a decade we would talk by email three times per year or so, always on her birthday, April 30th, always on my birthday, September 10th and always on Christmas. I must have offended her somehow in a way I do not remember. Maybe I said something bad while having an episode or she was offended by my blog or instagram. So I guess I will not send her a message on Christmas. An old friend lost. Oh well. I will not lose any sleep over it, though I would prefer to remain friends with her as she is my one connection to my university days and as a former lover we have many shared memories and I remember her fondly even though I was very bad to her. I remember her with love. I will not be cutting my wrists or taking too many sleeping pills or drinking myself unconscious.