Hawk Mountain

 

Yesterday my father drove us to Hawk Mountain in Pennsylvania. It is a mountain where one can look into the valley where hawks often fly. We saw a couple of hawks. I could not tell what kind of hawks they were, but they were probably sharp-shinned hawks as they are the most common kind seen there. Someone saw a bald eagle yesterday, but we did not.

There were about a half a dozen lookout points, collections of boulders piled on top of each other where you climb and look out over the valley or over the fields. The views were beautiful as in the picture above.

Michael and the girl came. We talked a little. About our worries. He does not like the lockdown and like me thinks it is insane. I did not wear a mask on the mountain, but I carried it on my arm in case anyone bothered me about it. That is also what I do when I walk around town.

We got to the mountain after two and by the time we were done it was almost night time. We had to walk over rocks through the woods and my mother was having trouble walking. Me and Michael took turns leading her. I was afraid we would not get back to the car before night time, but we barely made it. We were some of the last people to leave. It was a good trip.

Benediction Again

 I went to the local Church and read the bulletin. It said they had Eucharistic Adoration and Benediction today. This was cancelled for months. So I went. To look at Jesus. If you think Jesus is there in the Novus Ordo. To pray to God. A blessing.

A Dream of Heaven

I just want to remember a dream I had. Last night I had a dream that I was in heaven and when I woke up and realized I was still on earth (or perhaps it is hell here, though if so, hell is not as bad as you would think). But in my dream, heaven was not a place, it was a state of mind, or a state of the heart, or really a state of the soul. It was as if I were in the world among people, but heaven existed in me and I existed in heaven. At one point in the dream I was speaking to Mellonie who was in a state of hell as I was in heaven, at another point I was playing cards. But in all the dream I was as happy as one could be, happier than I normally am in my waking life, and I am a happy person. I was in heaven. And then I awoke.

Stigmata

 Yesterday Darius drove me to Church on long Island. With John. Near the Church I saw some grackles. Mass was beautiful.

Last night I had many dreams, but I only remember one. I dreamed I had the stigmata and was looking at the wounds in my hands. My dreams were pleasant, they were not dreams of despair. I am no Padre Pio. I may have mentioned that my uncle's father met Padre Pio and was his driver for a short while in Italy during the war. He saw his wounds.

The gold finches must live near my house, because again I saw them, three or four of them, hanging around by the flowers in our front yard. When I went out and when I came back they greeted me.

On my second walk for the first time in a long time, I saw the grackles down by Liberty Avenue I saw two big ones up in a tall tree. Only two. It was good to see them. I was wondering where they were. 

A Visit From Jesus At Home

Today Father S came to visit Julian and then he came to visit me. He brought in the Blessed Sacrament and put Him on a table with a white cloth he had me prepare. Then he said some prayers and had me say the Confiteor. Then he heard my confession. And then he absolved me. And then he gave me Communion. He broke the host in half because he had to visit another person after me. It was nice. He also blessed some medals and my picture of the Sorrowful Mother.

We talked. He said our living room and dining room combined were about the same size as the place where we used to have Mass in the city (and hopefully will again). They are looking for a new place and hoping for an end or an easing of the virus lockdown so we could have Mass again. He said that maybe we could have Mass at our house. I said I would like that, but not sure about mom and dad. They always used to make fun of my uncle George for having an obscure Russian Orthodox Church in his basement. It would be cool if we had a traditionalist Mass in our living room. But this is not likely. What is likely is that I had Jesus again from my priest. I gave him a donation.

When I go to the indult Mass in the city it just doesn't feel right. Now I think Jesus is also there, just that I have doubts about the priests' orthodoxy and traditionalism, which is why my preferences lie the way they do.

Some people think all Novus Ordo priests ordained in the New Rite are invalid so they avoid them. I do not go to them for confession, but lately I am willing to assume they are valid and receive the Sacraments there out of necessity. But Some people I know are going to the "resistance" chapel up north because of doubts about the validity of one of the priests in Ridgefield. People do not agree. And not only sedes. For a while, though I was never really a sede, I held some of their opinions like that the Novus Ordo did not have true Sacraments. But now I do not. Though I would completely understand refusing to receive the Sacraments from Novus Ordo priests out of the principle on not wanting anything to do with the new "springtime of Vatican II." Blessed be God.

Parakeet

 As I was walking I saw a yellow bird eating rice with the sparrows as if they were friends. After a while the birds flew away onto the roof of a house and I saw the flashing yellow. Then the bird flew away shining brightly and she was gone. I am not sure what kind of bird it was, but it was not a finch. It looked like a parakeet, yellow with some green, but I am not sure.

Soon after a man was walking down the street with a brown blanket wrapped around his neck, flowing down. In his left hand he held a 40 oz been and was lifting it up to his mouth to drink. At 11:30 AM. He had white hair and looked like an Old Testament prophet.